1992 July 3, Brimley Michigan Cottage

July 1992 Brimley Michigan Cottage

 July 3, 1992 1130pm

   It is the first day of our holidays at Brimley. We moved out in the rain, not very well organized. Michael and Kyle brought a load, I brought a load. It was raining so hard we told John not to bring the boat. John came with Michael, Michael and Donna came with Rachel, Suzanne came with Joanna and Alex MacLean, and all but me and the children left.

   Suzanne to get Mary Jane to go and buy groceries. We did not have a good food supply.

   When they did not come and did not come, we began to get worried that perhaps they and the groceries weren't coming until tomorrow. But they arrived at 11:30pm laden.

   So all is well! The adults have all gone home. Joanna and her friend Alex, Rachel, Kyle, Michael, Gibson the dog and I remain. My holidays have begun, the weather is poor, so what.

   It is now 1 AM and they are all playing cards and arguing.  It is holiday time!

July 4, 1992 Saturday 11:30 AM.

   The great American holiday!

 I have just wrestled my new lounge chair into a sitting position after falling out of it twice. A real comedy routine! I'm on the beach, the picnic table is in my favorite spot, but I have to wait until the tribe are up to change it. The young ones are only beginning to come to life. Rachel first!

    They were giggling at 4 AM. I heard them briefly once or twice. They were having an argumentative game of Scrabble.

   The sun shone briefly but is gone. The sky looks more like September then July. We have been having terrible weather very cold, then rain on and off since last Wednesday. It started last Wednesday with a crashing storm now the sky is layered with deepening shades of gray. There is rain slanting down from clouds on the North Shore and it looks as if we may get it from clouds just appearing over Bay Mills and to the west. The winds are west to northwest.

   I will go in later today to make sure that Wilf get to mass tomorrow at nine. I hope then I will bring him out here.

   Heavens someone is out way out on a sailboard! Kyle doesn't have one this year. They brought bought the van, and Kyle had his bike stolen and it had to be replaced. He neglected to put it under lock and key in their little barn. Michael was not happy!

   Gibson the Australian Shepherd is my companion on the beach, a reluctant one. He tours for a few minutes then stands at the door waiting admittance. He is much settled from his wild puppy days last summer. Oh there is one of John's small green bugs on the page.

    In spite of the clouds summer is here. There is a sailboat rounding the point across from Bay Mills. For a moment I wondered if it could be John. He bought a new used boat this spring, “The Melody”. It couldn't have a better name but I haven't been in it yet.

   I am writing this on my knee in the wind a bit jiggley. Oh how I wish that Wilf enjoyed the outdoors and that he could adapt to non-routine days. It is such a treat to get away from routine.

   Michael is up now the day will begin. He is so full of energy. I hope Mary Jane and Suzanne bring out the badminton net and bats and the horseshoes.

   There are swallows and gulls riding the wind. The Sandpiper is near. I can hear her Peep Peep. She tried to incite Gibson this morning but he ignored her.

   There are firecrackers going off down the beach it is 4 July already. There were some last night and Gibson is terrified of the sound. He slinks into a corner literally tail between his legs and shivers with fright. We discovered last year, (Steven had a cap gun) as I remember, and when he shot it off Gibson went like a shot and disappeared into the trees behind the house. I miss Steen! He and John are complete campers.

   I am reading “Silver Wedding” by Maeve Binchey. The heroin is a truly Irish type. I should collect all her books as an explanation of the Irish. I will leave them to my children to let them have a glimpse of their roots.

   I have just walked up to the village store at the crossroads to get some milk, 15 minutes up, 15 minutes back. The daisies are beginning to flourish. There is Queens’s lace and butter cups in the long grass by the roadside. The wind is cool, cold, from the Northwest. The clouds lifted a bit and seem to be breaking up for about five minutes but a closed in again. It just can't seem to clear, the weather has been terrible, rain, rain, and windy and cold.

   Michael and Donna had quite an experience bringing the boat around St. Joe's from Bruce Mines. It was so wild that they had to take shelter in Milford Haven for a couple of hours. When it didn't give any indication of real improvement they set out again motoring into the wind. From their descriptions of it, they might well have been on the North Sea.

   Donna said while she was steering (Michael below gearing himself with Northwestern's and many layered clothing), the waves were breaking over the prow with such force that they were drenching her. Michael said they moved from the storm to storm. They could see the storm approaching and they moved into it through a curtain of driving rain with the force of pails of water being thrown directly into their faces. They did not get home until 3 AM, and then they had to drive back to Bruce Mines in the van to get their car “The Road Warrior”, and then come out here to Brimley to get Kyle and Rachel who were both working today.

   Kyle is instructing sailing and boating and sailboarding at RYTAC. He has been volunteering but starts this week on staff at $6.20 an hour. Rachel is babysitting.

   There is more blue sky above us but a mean looking cloud bank is appearing to the West over Bay Mills.

   Suzanne stayed over on Sunday night. Terri and Johnny Veale with Adam 4 and Brianne 14 months are holidaying in their trailer at the State Park. They have been there for a week of cold and rain and storm and are suffering from a giant dose of"trailer fever". Adam has recently developed asthma, has to be ventilated, and is very frightened by the attacks. Brienne is never still a minute. Tiny, determined, running into everything, very independent! Won't allow anyone to feed her, results, food all over the table the floor and very little into her.

  Adams fell asleep on the Chesterfield and Brianne on a big chair and was put on the bed snug in a blanket. Terri sank into a chair with a magazine and a cup of coffee. “My favorite time of day” she said, with a sigh.

   Alex and Joanna are still sleeping and Gibson is curled up on the sofa sleeping. I am here and having a lovely easy relaxing time.

 Wilf came out with me yesterday afternoon. I delayed as much as possible because the weather was so bad and there was a crowd. The Veale’s, Suzanne, John, Kyle, Rachel, Joanna, Alex, Mary Jane, Michael York, Michael Punch and Donna. Mary Jane and Michael York had left for hockey practice when we got there. John and Johnny barbecued chicken and hamburgers and salad, and we had Joanna's birthday cake one day late.

  Brendon was out Saturday evening to do the Fourth of July fireworks for them. Gibson was under the bed shaking!

 There is either a fog or more rain advancing from the North Shore. I must investigate!

  It is a fog bank; the wind has a veered to the Northeast. It is either blowing in across the land from Superior or it is Northeast from the river.

  One moment I can see the far shore next it disappears. Puffs of it move forward towards the trees but do not enter them. Now it is billowing beyond the longue of land that lies between our bay and the St. Mary's near Whitefish Bay to the west. It is still sunny behind the cottage, strangely beautiful.

  At 9 PM a strange day. Winds shifting and cool this afternoon sunny but not warm because of the wind. This evening the fog has moved in again. The cottage two doors away is invisible. The near beach only shows a few feet of ripple in water and then it merges with the fog.

  Rachel has gone on her bike to get the movie that Joanna booked. Alex and Joanna are over at the trailer park babysitting Adam and Brianne. Steven came out and made supper for us, his chili recipe. He seems so grown up.

July 7, 1992 at 12:45 PM

   I have had my first bike ride of the season, Fourth Avenue to the highway, down again to Baird, along Baird to Leland, and up to the highway, back to Shenandoah, along it past the cottages to Fourth, to the highway and back down. I had no trouble peddling, not as strongly balanced as I would like to be.

  It is trying hard to clear but it is still cloudy but much warmer and no wind. Gibson is good company! I am sitting outside on the beach and he is ranging the shore. He just chased a flock of birds that were foraging by the old stump. He doesn't move out of sight and comes when I call him.

   Alex and Joanna slept on the boy’s bed last night, Rachel on the rollaway beside them, Gibson on the end of the bed with them.

   It is so quiet and peaceful here only the birds! Even the water is still today. John thought he might bring his sailboat out today but I am sure he will reconsider. We are supposed to have severe thunderstorms and then warm weather. I hope the weather man is right.

   Rachel is up and making herself some Kraft Dinner. The three of them were talking again until 4 AM.

   Steven is driving Joel’s car to Montréal, leaving Thursday morning to bring Christina home for a few weeks. It will good be good to see her. I hope her studies have gone well. I still think she is in the wrong course, but what the right course is these days is hard to know. Brendon's English and History Honors, is only useful to build another degree on. Steven is on the right track. Health services! He hopes to go for a paramedic course after working to get experience.

   There is a large yellow and black butterfly and huge bumblebee on me, a sandpiper along the shore. I haven’t had a glimpse of the Heron yet this year. I am soaking up the peace! I feel so far removed from the routines of daily living.

  There is more activity inside now at 1 o'clock and all is well!

July 8, 1992 at 6 PM

  Steven brought Joanna out this afternoon. She had an appointment with Dr. Turgeon and Gibson had to have his booster shots.

  Rachel was babysitting so I was alone last night. They tell me there was a storm but I vaguely remember one rumble of thunder. This morning I got up about 830, vacuumed the cottage, and had a leisurely breakfast and shower and went into Sault Michigan to get some groceries. I lunched on leftovers and worked on an Alzheimer's subject list until Steven and Joanna arrived about 4 PM.

  Steven has gone home; he leaves tomorrow for Montréal to get Christina. Why could I not give him a hug and a kiss as I wanted to? Why do I sometimes get so tied in knots when I want so much to show my feelings? I come across aloof and cold! Is it because of a childhood of being “seen and not heard” or is it in my genes. Anyway what does it matter?

   Vange and Don Sunstrum are coming to the cottage with Donna and Michael, Wilfred, Rachel and Kyle. We are going up the road to the little restaurant where they have a fish fry. Joanna doesn't like fish! They are on their way to White River I think to a wedding. I enjoyed my lone day!

  Donna told Wilf that Gibson was with me last night! He doesn't like me to be here by myself. He has no idea how much I enjoyed the peace and quiet.

  Joanna is watching reruns of “the Adams family” and “I love Lucy”. She has just spent 20 minutes putting makeup on. She reminds me of Mary Jane much to Stevens’s disgust. He says that that's why she has zits. I commented that he would miss such scenes when he is away, and he just looked heavenwards in derision.

July 9, 1992 Thursday 12:15 AM.

   It is 12:15am and Joanna and Rachel are eating chips and dip watching TV, waiting for their Jell-O to jiggle. Joanna is completely sophisticated self-centered and 15 one minute and about the age of seven the next. They have plucked their eyebrows and masked their faces.

  I am going to bed having spent most of the day in the Canadian Sault. I was at a Historic Site Board meeting, did Alzheimer's work, hair wash, letter mailing, “Nutrience Dog Food” for Gibson, a meeting with Suzanne who leaves tomorrow morning for Columbus Ohio for Laureen’s daughter’s wedding.

  The sun was actually shining this afternoon, perhaps the long awaited break in the weather. We have here been here one whole week with one afternoon of sunshine!

  

Monday, July 13, 1992 at 9:30 AM.

  Just back from my bike ride! My hands are so cold I am having difficulty holding the pen. The fog is so thick on the Bay there is no far shore. It has even drifted across Shenandoah the shore road.

  We had a second few hours of sunshine last Saturday. I put on my shorts and T-shirt and settled myself in the lounge chair on the beach. I returned to the cottage for my sweatshirt and hood and I settled myself on the lounge chair on the beach. I returned to the cottage and got the Afghans and bundled myself in them and settled on the lounge chair on the beach. The sun was shining but the wind was from the north and cold.

   Mary Jane came out from the Sault and brought Michael and four friends. Kyle and Rachel and Joanna were here with me. Kyle biked to the State Park and brought back two of his friends Michael and friends took the boat and went across to Bay Mills to swim in the lee of the little peninsula that forms the bay. It is sheltered from the wind but the water is freezing cold.

   Comments of the afternoon, Kyle: “Grandma your boat seems a lot smaller this year”. “Kyle it is not smaller you are much bigger”. I enjoy Kyle, there is constant nattering between him and Joanna and much irritation between him and Rachel.

   Suzanne arrived last night at 1 AM on her way back from Columbus Ohio. Laureen McLean Davey’s daughter Debbie was married there. She drove down by herself, got lost and ended up in Cincinnati. On the way back took a wrong turn and was on the way to Chicago. Drove about four hours too many all told. The wedding was lovely, very formal, about a $20,000 affair. Laureen and Dennis’s marriage is still holding together but there is much resentment. They nearly crashed a few years ago, Dennis having an affair with his secretary. He was also drinking heavily and is apparently reformed on both counts. The episode jolted Laureen into doing something other than being the understanding wife. She took a refresher nursing course and is now working part-time. They have two other daughters besides Debbie Stephanie and Cathy.

   I am biking every morning and walking every evening. Despite the exercise I have gained 2 pounds, muscle hopefully! Gibson accompanies me on my evening walks. Last evening I was enjoying the outdoors, the daisies and butter cups in the long grass beside the road, the banks of ferns the lovely old trees, the smell of wet new cut grass. I knew walking that this is very likely our last year here. It will be very hard to give up but we have outgrown the need.

Tuesday, July 14, 1992.

   At last!

   Sunshine, blue sky, wisps of cirrus clouds, mares tails way up, white caps but not stormy ones, bright sunshine and a stiff breeze. John is out in his sailboat a small triangle of white along the far shore. Even in the binoculars view his craft is tiny. I am so happy for him that he bought it. He was lost last year without “The Stitch”. This one came on the market unexpectedly. Dr. John Patterson can no longer sail (he has cancer) and decided to sell his boat, because he wanted a buyer who would really enjoy and take care of it. He sold it to John for only $5000 when he could easily have got $7000 for it. Even Mary Jane is happy about it.

    Mary Jane and John, Suzanne Christina and Steven came out yesterday afternoon. So good to see Christina! She looks great, lost most of her excess weight. Suzanne calls her the bag lady because she wears drab colors, black tights, shorts with shaggy bottoms, a very, very, pretty young woman. We played a midnight game of Scrabble. She won! She is a concentrated calculated player. I haven't had a chance to talk to her about her feelings and her studies or about Fred, who seems to be a big big part of her life.

  There! John is on his own! He has just disappeared behind the point of land, a speck going off stage. I can no longer follow him with the binoculars.

   Michael, Donna and Kyle came out for the evening, Johnny and Terri Veale with Adam and Brianne dropped in so we had a noisy throng.

   After the Scrabble game they were making caramel popcorn. The large bowl was there this morning, gobs of hardened sugar, certainly not carmel, so I gather it was a failure.

  After I went to bed (reading Gore Vidal's “Hollywood”) a story of America in the 1920s, and had fallen asleep over it, Christina came in and asked for the car keys. She wanted to make a phone call. I didn't ask to whom but I'm sure it wasn't to Suzanne.

   This morning Steven arrived at 10 AM to get her. Suzanne had forgotten to tell her she had an appointment with Dr. Turgeon. Well it was a black mood awakening! She resembled Joel in a gathering storm!

   I feel for Suzanne, she is going through concentrated criticism from all three. She is worried about money, with reason. They do not seem to understand or care. Typical of their age and upbringing! She has always fulfilled their very high expectations and now some of them are very high indeed.

   Joanna at the moment has a very materialistic sense of values. If there isn't a designer ticket on her jeans they are not acceptable, she is 15.

  Steven has his sights set on independence and it is only a year away. He does not want to live in residence at Humber College where he is enrolled for the fall term. Toronto apartment prices are wildly high. Christina pays $389 in Montréal and for the same, would be $600 in Toronto. I have just run out of ink! I am on the beach. Rachel has just appeared, it is 3 PM, there are five jet trails in the blue blue sky.

Steven's drawings attached to this story by Mom.

Wednesday, July 15, 1992 6:45 PM.

  The shadows of the trees are lengthening across the beach, the sun is warm. There should be a spectacular sunset because of the clouds. It has been another strange day.

   Last evening the temperature dropped the wind was cold. This morning when I biked at 9 AM there was still a cold wind and fog on the river and in the bay. All morning it was sunny, but with a cold wind. Mary, Sheila, Stephanie, Paul, Catherine, Tarryn and Siobhan came out shortly before lunch. We sat on the beach turning the chairs away from the water to shield us from the wind. Tarryn and the little ones, not Paul, who is just two months, were in and out of the water. The wind dropped and the sun came out.Mary Jane arrived with Brendon.

   John who slept on the Melody last night was here too and Joanna. The temperature climbed it was hot. Wading near the shore we disturbed clouds of newly hatched flying objects. The heat I guess! Do I prefer insects or the wind?

   John had quite an experience sailing yesterday. It was windy and I saw him disappear behind the Bay Mills Peninsula. He did not come back until close to 730pm. He sailed out to Whitefish Bay in 1 1/2 foot waves, a good breeze with whitecaps. In the bay the wind died, absolutely none. For about half an hour it was dead eerie calm then it began again, a stiff wind not a good breeze. Three to four foot waves this time, hard sailing. He came back and into the turbulent bay to anchor at the pilings. It took him an hour to tie the boat up, many times almost blown ashore, once into the cables and damaged the stern badly. He finally secured the boat and came over the bay, totally exhausted when he arrived. He was red from windblown, aching all over, and the floor was moving as if he was still on the boat. He went back to sleep on it for the night.

    It was a beautiful night a gorgeous moon.He had a hard time getting to sleep, he's a light sleeper at the best of times, the waves were breaking against the boat right at his head. The night was beautiful; he got up once just to enjoy it. The moon delivered the whole bay!

  About 5 AM he woke with something crashing and sliding and flopping on the deck. Then a skittering “What the hell” he peered out cautiously and there about three feet away was a seagull, a large one staring fixedly at him. It started to preen its feathers! “Boo” yelled John, the bird looked one way and another totally ignoring John and continued to preen. “Hey get off my boat” yelled John. The seagull looked around and through him. “What the hell!”, and John went back to bed.

   Joanna and I were alone last evening. She got a film “Hidden under the Stairs” about kidnapping and cannibalism. I read and kept my eyes averted and my ears turned off. She thought it was awesome! Then came the hornet or a flying ant anyway one large flying creature! We tried flyswatters in a macabre dance around the living room but we couldn't catch it. No “Raid” because I won't allow it in the cottage, Suzanne and Joanna would asphyxiate us instead of the flies, so I finally hit on our only weapon. “Pam” a pressurized can!

   Theory: if I oil its wings it will not be able to fly! Theory correct! After much antics and spraying it fell from the chandelier to the floor and Joanna finished it with the swatter.

  Catherine is two weeks overdue and will be induced on Friday if she doesn't go before then. She looks well! Siobhan is a clone of her husband Steven.

Sheila’s Paul is a long thin blond blue-eyed McIntyre. He had better develop football shoulders or Mark will have a bird. Stephanie is more Mark’s side of the family.

   Tarryn is staying the night with Joanna and me. He is getting very tall and is going into grade five, a precocious energetic boy, reminds me of Michael Yorke's hyperness.

  There is a Navy ship or Coast Guard ship anchored to the east at about the State Park. The longships are passing in the distance, more traffic this year than last.

  John has sailed the Melody back to the Sault. There are thunderstorms predicted for the next two days. Brendon was here to sail with him. Brendon got an 88 in his music, the extra subject he took early in June. I haven't heard anything of Christina's results. I wonder if Suzanne has. I wonder about her deferred subjects. I hope I have a chance to talk to her about them but not with an audience. We are all concerned that she is not facing facts.

  The clouds are changing their form; the sunset may not be spectacular after all. Joanna and Tarryn are watching their daily movie, “Mother we killed the Babysitter”. When my eyebrows went up a bit at the title Joanna hastily explained “It's not horror, it's a comedy Grandma”. Comedy!

   The seagulls are on the sandbar, Gibson is lying quietly at my side, and it is a golden evening. I am totally relaxed!  Back to my book!

July 20, 1992 Brimley Michigan

   I stayed alone last night through a wild and wonderful and scary thunderstorm. The whole world was white, white, light and streaks from the sky to ground, and rain and thunder that never stopped. I sat in the dark in the living room flashlight in hand purse and car keys near, in case, in case. I slept well once it was over.

   The wind is still wild or wilder this morning, big waves and “surf” almost, on the river and in the bay. The cottage shakes with the gusts. The boat has been blown sideways tilted on the beach. It is full of water so it won't go anywhere. I have to go into the Sault for a memorial service for John Duncan's mother who died in Thunder Bay a month ago. I wish I could stay here I like the wind.

  Rachel is coming out with me, Joanna is babysitting, Suzanne is busy with home chores and Mary Jane and John are back at work. It is a strange, strange summer! I can hear the surf like waves hitting shore; the trees are bent and shaking.

  

Tuesday July 21 1992

I went into the Sault for the memorial service. It was like stepping back in time at St. Andrews. We sat amongst the old; they used to be white Anglo Saxon Protestants. The once elite of Sault Ste. Marie before it became a multicultural city. Our old church Street gang was there. The East Enders, Mildred Pickering, Marian Patterson Russell, Betty Duncan. The ghosts were John Duncan and Marguerite Smith Gearhart, Bob Russell and others. Betty Ralph White was there, she was Kohler Street but very East End, also Bruce Armstrong. The last time I was in St. Andrews was for K Climie’s funeral.

  Rachel did not come over to the cottage with me. I called and told Donna I would like her to come, but there was no necessity. I did not want her to feel obligated. I knew she would be torn because Donna is on holidays so she decided to stay home.

   I enjoyed the evening to myself, it was still very windy, whitecaps and surf and trees noisy and shaking. I got the video “Only the lonely” John Candy. Jimmy had recommended it, an Irish story of a mother-ridden 38-year-old Irishman. The mother reminded me of my own grandmother, bitter and possessive. Only she possessed my mother. Grandmother always came first and I marvel now at my father's patience and fortitude. She said such nasty things to him, and I am sure that’s the reason we spent much of our childhood in Ottawa in the Parks and visiting the churches and going for walks. That was mother’s way of keeping us out of Granny's way. Perhaps it was her way of escaping too. Granny always laid the guilt on mother if we were, what she Granny considered late.

   Kay Henderson Gallivan’s mother was another Irish mother. Very much the matriarch and Kay herself. Terry had to go to the seminary to keep the peace. Her sister had a priest in the family and Kay wanted at least one. Terry escaped however and left the seminary. He is a high school teacher and an active Catholic gentleman in London. He and Liz were sensible enough to escape the Sault.

   Mickey the spoiled “baby son” married, but his marriage failed after Kay died. Sue, his wife never pleased Kay no matter how hard she tried.
   “ Only the Lonely” was certainly an Irish story. The night before last I watched “The Field” another Irish one. An Irish tragedy based on the love of the land and possessiveness of an Irish father. The land was the dominant factor, the field, and it reminded me of Peter and Mary Giles. Mary uprooted Peter from life in Canada which he loved to go back to Ireland, as her mother was ill and if she died the little plot of land would go out of the family through an uncle. Well Peter died in Ireland and Mary inherited the land, but when Suzanne and I visited her she was in mortal fear of losing it because neither of her sons were interested, and it would then revert to the government. I may watch “The Field” again, but maybe not, it was so sad and so Irish, the father of reminded me of Marty McPherson.

   I'm going to have breakfast now and then go into town to shop around at Penny’s. I hope they take Visa! I am broke! It is a beautiful sunny day, the water is still, the boat is full of seaweed and one of the seats is split open. It is 9 AM.

   The weather continued to deteriorate, winds are cool, I was alone and finally decided I had enough and move moved into the Sault.

   The first time our cottage time had ever ended early and abruptly!